Friday, February 19, 2010

Twink Kangaroo Education Initiative

The other day I was waiting at the bus stop outside of Coles (a big supermarket chain in Australia) when I noticed a twink and sugar daddy sitting next to me.  For those of you who don't know what a twink is (those of you over 35 or those of you suffering from extreme cases of heterosexuality), here is the definition from UrbanDictionary.com:

An attractive, boyish-looking, young gay man. The stereotypical twink is 18-22, slender with little or no body hair, often blonde, dresses in club wear even at 10:00 AM, and is not particularly intelligent. A twink is the gay answer to the blonde bimbo cheerleader.

Anyway, the twink was very excited because of one the purchases in his shopping bag:  a cut of kangaroo meat.

He pulled the raw meat out of the bag (which is gross, because even when packaged up tightly, that shit can still leak) and began to read aloud the description on the back of the meat to his sugar daddy.  Boy, did I learn a lot from that little twink thing!

Did you know that kangaroo meat is the healthiest red meat available?  It's high in protein and extremely lean - about 2% fat.  It has the highest levels of CLA - some type of something that is found is most meats - which helps reduce body fat and maintain weight, acts an an anti-carcinogen, and does a bunch of other really good stuff.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, just wait - there's more!  Kangaroo meat is better for the environment!  Who knew?  Kangaroos hop - so they are gentler on the soil and don't destroy native grasses like cattle, sheep, and other livestock do.  In addition, they require less feed and can better withstand drought than other animals farmed for food.  And it says all this right on the package!

So next time you're out to eat and you see kangaroo on the menu, think about ordering it instead of beef, pork, or lamb.  It's good for you, and it's good for the Earth.

Who knew that a twink could teach me so much?  His older sugar daddy didn't seem to care at all.  It's ok, little twink.  I'm listening.  You can come home with me.


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